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‘OHINA Short Film Showcase 2011

"This Ain't Hollywood. It's 'Ohina.

So in the world of blogging, tweeting and even facebooking, the name of the game is getting things up on the web quick. as the old saying says You Snooze You Lose, this is the case in the instant gratification world of social media in the year 2011.  Sticking to this vibe, I am doing this post, but just to let you know for once I am tired and need some sleep, thus, I may update this post some more on Sunday after some Coffee at wherever I go to get coffee Sunday Morning.

Thus, “With Brain Hurting, Feet Stinging, Stomach growling” (song lyric excerpt from the Aloha Aliens-Pure System Overload Song) I write you this blog at 12:26AM about an hour or so after seeing the ‘Ohina Short Film Showcase at the Doris Duke Theatre in Honolulu, Hawaii.

While parking my car met Eric Yokomori the writer of “The Vault”  How cool is that? Celebs right out in the parking lot, he seemed pretty jazzed to go to the gig and we chatted about the new Jay-Z album on the way over as we passed a pretty happening Graffiti and hip hop event happening right across the street from the theatre. I pretty much wanted to stay and go to that, but I was meeting a bunch of friends and folks in my acting class so I needed to hurry on up to get to the Film Fest. Included in the very affordable ticket price of just $15, when I arrived at the theatre I was treated to a delicious dinner which included Salad seasoned with Chinese Parsley, noodles, Yummy meat Balls, Garlicked French Bread and a Brownie.  Thank you to the nice lady behind the decks of food who was so super nice..Food Courtesy of Da Spot now near Down to Earth on King Street.

I hung out, saw some old friends, met some new ones.(Darren, Jordan, Nancy, Tracey, Paul, Sherry, Ken, Peter, Pagent, Rory, Marco, My “Specialty” Doctor who I hid from-Oh I never hide from anyone! LOL.”   Then went in to take my seat to watch the 12 “short” films.

If you were there, send your vote on which films you enjoyed the most. I’ll start with the first one I saw and go on down the list.  I really like to keep this blog positive, so if I say anything negative, please don’t freak out and lose sleep over it, it’s really just my opinion of the movie and with that comes the mood I was in when I watched it.  I think that has a lot to do with a movie or event review of any kind.  The better my self being, the better the event, concert, fashion, etc and/or review of the movie(s).

As the Chem Bros Say “Here We Go”  (On the “Block Rocking Beats” Song)

1. Blessed Assurance-  The premise here is that the island of Oahu ran out of gas, then a guy goes surfing, catches some fish, smokes a little weed, has a beer, makes a perfect barbecue and eats. Basically like Ice Cube did in his movie while he sang “Today’s a Good Day” down in Compton, but the Hawaii Version. No catchy tune like Ice Cubes in this, but the day was pretty perfect, only thing missing was hooking up.  Waves could have been a bit bigger, but whose complaining. The downside is that in improv class, we learn that what makes a good story is conflict and there wasnt any conflict, the island ran out of gas, but who really cares. And the movie didn’t connect the dots to why there was no gas. no Aliens, No Russian thieves stealing it. The barbecued fish looked super ONO though and it sure was a good day in Hawaii Nei!

2. Night of the LIving:  I liked this one a lot, was some dude out for a run and he bumps into sexy zombie girls, a Vampire, some werewolves that looked like humans and a Vampire.  He finally makes it home and I wont tell you who his parents are, but it’s pretty awesome and it ties the whole movie together. Fun movie and the guy who played the jogger was at the premiere having a good Ol’ time!

3.  Extinction of the Saber Tooth Housecat:  This was pretty cool.  Real world and cartoon world all in one. the cinematic effects were pretty trippy, I can’t really tell you the story or you wont be surprised when you see it, it’s about a cat and a meteor and it looks really cool.

4. Not I:  LIke a 10 minute version of a :60 PSA on don’t do domestic violence. Has a pretty cool trick ending. And it was filmed where I park my car for work at Mark’s Garage, so that was pretty cool.

5.  Green Tie Affair:  This was the most creative movie of the night. It had a muppet guy singing 90’s type Disney tunes, bright green ties, some crazy psycho Girl selling plaid clothes, and a pretty happening pool party.  Next to Night of the Living, I liked this second best, mostly do to all the crazy creativity Dane Neves was able to do and not get scolded by “the man” for doing it.  Sometimes I wish my world could be more like that. Dane’s a lucky dude.

6. Why Maui Snarled the Sun:  Fun Hawaiian Animated movie with a fable on how/why we have sunlight.  A mystical man named Maui took care of it all for us many, many years ago so that his mother and fishermen friends could have more time during the day to work..and of course Surf and have fun.  pretty happening animation, cool story, just had a couple awkward moments of dialogue that didn’t seem to match the rest of the movie, but that was actually ok, because we were able to laugh and as Dr. Oz Says, Laughter can give you 3-5 extra years on your life.  Or he says something similar to that, for legal reasons I guess i gotta say I kind of paraphrased that a bit.

Intermission:  Kind of boring-no drinks or food and was quite hot. I did see some of the Hot actresses and stars of the movies. But didn’t really meet anyone knew during the intermission.  Was kind of dazed from the hot sun we had throughout the day and felt a bit dizzy and there was no water to drink. Not sure why they don’t sell booze and drinks during intermission, all they had were some T Shirts for $20 a piece. They had nice sayings on them, but I don’t really like shirts that have too much on the fronts, would rather it be on the back with a simpler front, I feel like I’m fatter for some reason when I wear a shirt with too many words on the front and they feel heavier too.  No I’m not a Manerexic.  Just paranoid..I guess.

Well, I am ready for bed now, been writing for an hour, but once I start, its hard to stop, so here goes Films 7-12.

7.  The Vault:  This had some nice cinematic effects and pretty witty dialogue. I can’t really tell you the story because that would spoil all the surprises-but for you that means that this movie is filled with surprizes..have fun watching it!

8.  Bozo:  Now if you have that phobia about being scared of clowns..DONT got see this, you wont ever sleep again.  A pretty, dark, and creepy story about a clown and a total Whacko Loony bin dude.  Some cool lines in it like:  What, What? What kind of Clown doesn’t Drink Beer? I liked the character of the crazy guy in this, well-played and the clown..well he played his role well, but I am a bit freaked out and I don’t have that clown-A-Phobia thingy. Bozo is pretty Loko!

9.  Once Was Paradise:  Like Mad Max if they filmed it in Hawaii.  Yikes!  This had some pretty happening blood in it-Gnarly would be a perfect word for the fights. Pretty flippin’ Whacked out version of post apoptylectic Hawaii.  Hopefully its far off base, but some days out here, it really could come to all that craziness.  If you smoke, please smoke weed and not Ice..It will keep Hawaii a lot more peaceful. these guys didn’t seem to be smoking anything, but the beer they drank was like greenish, yellow, brown sludge like looking stuff. UGH! that’s what probably made them so ticked off at the world!  Get some Stella Dude!

10.  Man on the Moon:  Nice cinematography and really professional.  Tried super hard to get emotional.  Me as a guy, I don’t really dig the mushy stuff too much, but it nabbed a bunch of the audience. Since i lived in both NYC and HI, the NYC scenes shot in Hawaii were strange for me, but if you grew up here and never went there, it probably worked. And once again I saw where I work in part of the film, which is always interesting. Out of all the films, I think I could have been in this one or the sequel or similar.

11.  Mute:  Another heart stringer. Emotions, ups, downs all arounds. They tried super hard to get you to cry or feel something. Many times it worked well, other times it was a bit too much. They may make it into a longer feature film in the future and it is based on a true story!

12.  Shave Ice is NIce: Sometimes Simpler is better and in this Case, SIMPLER Rocked the House.  Cute kid, Hot babes, crisp Photography in Ultra HD, A good film to end the evening with, Fun movie with a simple yet effective plot. No wonder, i went to 7-Eleven to get an Ice Cream Fish Cake-it was a shave Ice that I really wanted.

That’s all 12, if you were there, let us know your thoughts, if you weren’t there, it all plays once again Sunday day and night, but I dont think they will have all the stars and the free food. GN for now. Aloha!

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